DEAR SENIOR YEAR, [pt. 2!]

It seems like it was just yesterday that I wrote my post, "Dear Senior Year." In actuality, it was published aaaalllll the way back in August. (um, what. I don't understand how time passes by so quickly. SOMEONE GET ME A TIME TURNER. Anywho. *cough*) That post began with how fall was quickly approaching and now here we are, with spring about to arrive. (at least if the snow decides to ever disappear. -.-) 

Since I started my senior year with a blog post, now it only seems fitting that I end it with one. Hopefully this post doesn't turn out to be too sappy, but I won't make any promise since I'm a deeply emotional person. xD

dear senior year,

You've finally come to an end. Twelve years of school, countless hours, two thousand, one hundred, and sixty days in all... completed. Done. I won't be facing the textbooks in the fall after a summer break. I won't sit cross-legged on my grey folding chair any longer, with a blanket wrapped around me like a burrito. I won't have to grit my teeth through frustrating battles with stubborn math problems. (<<< hallelujah to the last one!) 

I'm finished, and for some reason that's a terrifying thought.

I've explained this before, but school and I have never been the best of friends. I'm an impatient, hands on type of person, and the prospect of sitting at a desk all morning to think through difficult concepts until my head hurts? ... eh, I'll pass. I've never liked school, but now that I'm done, I realize how comforting school was. (never dreamed of writing that sentence, ha!)

I explored the idea of comfort + school a little bit in my last senior post, but it's become more evident now that I've graduated. When in school, my purpose/task was set out for me. I woke up every morning, and I didn't need to think about cars and jobs and money and ~adult responsibilities~. 

I feel a bit like Bilbo Baggins. I was in the routine of the life that I was accustomed to, living comfortably in my Bag End home, eating lots of pizza and other good food. But then I opened the door for the dwarves, and now I'm getting dragged on this new and stretching journey in life. (BOOM! ADULTHOOD! OFF ON AN ADVENTURE YOU GO!)

(as I reread that analogy it's a pretty awful one and isn't very similar to my situation, but I'll take any opportunity to call myself Bilbo Baggins and pretend to be a hobbit thank you very much.)

It's been weird having people say, "Congratulations on graduating!" Sometimes it seems like the concept of me being done with high school is easier for them to believe than it is for me. Every morning I wake up expecting to trudge back to my school desk, but then remember -- wait! I'm done! (so then I proceed to make coffee and spend the morning writing which has made mornings actually enjoyable)

And once the "congratulations" take place, the inevitable question strikes: "So... what are you going to do with your life?" [psst, go read nadine's wonderful post about this dreaded question]

Oh. Yay. *existential screaming*

Though I make fun of the question, I do understand. I'm a naturally curious person and would want to know my Top Secret Plans if I were them. But the problem is that I'm me and I still ask myself everyday what it is that I'm going to do with my life. :P

Unfortunately, I don't have any Top Secret Exciting Plans. I'm not going to college because a) I have no idea what I'd go for, and b) I don't want to go just to go and spend all that time and money.

So instead, for now, I'm going to keep working at Starbucks (yay for free caffeine! (<< thank goodness for spell check because I cannot spell "caffeine" for the life of me). I'm going to search for a second job and hopefully settle into a routine that I enjoy.

I may not have as much time to write, but you better believe that I'll spend the spare moments I have chipping away at my novels, taking those baby steps toward publication. Writing is something that I don't think I can ever give up, no matter how insane and chaotic life gets.

We'll see where this crazy journey of life takes me. As intimidating as it can be, I'm excited to see what God has in store for me. :D

Well, those are my scattered senior updates! A lot of my blogging/writing friends are going through the same life changes of becoming adults, graduating, and having change fly at them, so it's comforting to know that I'm not the only one. We can all freak out together! :P

Have a wonderful weekend. <3

<3,
katie grace

are you experiencing change? like it? hate it?