DEAR SENIOR YEAR, [pt. 2!]

Saturday, March 10, 2018
It seems like it was just yesterday that I wrote my post, "Dear Senior Year." In actuality, it was published aaaalllll the way back in August. (um, what. I don't understand how time passes by so quickly. SOMEONE GET ME A TIME TURNER. Anywho. *cough*) That post began with how fall was quickly approaching and now here we are, with spring about to arrive. (at least if the snow decides to ever disappear. -.-) 

Since I started my senior year with a blog post, now it only seems fitting that I end it with one. Hopefully this post doesn't turn out to be too sappy, but I won't make any promise since I'm a deeply emotional person. xD

dear senior year,

You've finally come to an end. Twelve years of school, countless hours, two thousand, one hundred, and sixty days in all... completed. Done. I won't be facing the textbooks in the fall after a summer break. I won't sit cross-legged on my grey folding chair any longer, with a blanket wrapped around me like a burrito. I won't have to grit my teeth through frustrating battles with stubborn math problems. (<<< hallelujah to the last one!) 

I'm finished, and for some reason that's a terrifying thought.

I've explained this before, but school and I have never been the best of friends. I'm an impatient, hands on type of person, and the prospect of sitting at a desk all morning to think through difficult concepts until my head hurts? ... eh, I'll pass. I've never liked school, but now that I'm done, I realize how comforting school was. (never dreamed of writing that sentence, ha!)

I explored the idea of comfort + school a little bit in my last senior post, but it's become more evident now that I've graduated. When in school, my purpose/task was set out for me. I woke up every morning, and I didn't need to think about cars and jobs and money and ~adult responsibilities~. 

I feel a bit like Bilbo Baggins. I was in the routine of the life that I was accustomed to, living comfortably in my Bag End home, eating lots of pizza and other good food. But then I opened the door for the dwarves, and now I'm getting dragged on this new and stretching journey in life. (BOOM! ADULTHOOD! OFF ON AN ADVENTURE YOU GO!)

(as I reread that analogy it's a pretty awful one and isn't very similar to my situation, but I'll take any opportunity to call myself Bilbo Baggins and pretend to be a hobbit thank you very much.)

It's been weird having people say, "Congratulations on graduating!" Sometimes it seems like the concept of me being done with high school is easier for them to believe than it is for me. Every morning I wake up expecting to trudge back to my school desk, but then remember -- wait! I'm done! (so then I proceed to make coffee and spend the morning writing which has made mornings actually enjoyable)

And once the "congratulations" take place, the inevitable question strikes: "So... what are you going to do with your life?" [psst, go read nadine's wonderful post about this dreaded question]

Oh. Yay. *existential screaming*

Though I make fun of the question, I do understand. I'm a naturally curious person and would want to know my Top Secret Plans if I were them. But the problem is that I'm me and I still ask myself everyday what it is that I'm going to do with my life. :P

Unfortunately, I don't have any Top Secret Exciting Plans. I'm not going to college because a) I have no idea what I'd go for, and b) I don't want to go just to go and spend all that time and money.

So instead, for now, I'm going to keep working at Starbucks (yay for free caffeine! (<< thank goodness for spell check because I cannot spell "caffeine" for the life of me). I'm going to search for a second job and hopefully settle into a routine that I enjoy.

I may not have as much time to write, but you better believe that I'll spend the spare moments I have chipping away at my novels, taking those baby steps toward publication. Writing is something that I don't think I can ever give up, no matter how insane and chaotic life gets.

We'll see where this crazy journey of life takes me. As intimidating as it can be, I'm excited to see what God has in store for me. :D



Well, those are my scattered senior updates! A lot of my blogging/writing friends are going through the same life changes of becoming adults, graduating, and having change fly at them, so it's comforting to know that I'm not the only one. We can all freak out together! :P

Have a wonderful weekend. <3

<3,
katie grace

are you experiencing change? like it? hate it?

45 comments :

  1. *eats pizza because I'm the first commenter*

    YES SOMEONE ELSE WHO CAN'T SPELL REALLY "EASY" WORDS WITHOUT THE HELP OF AUTO-CORRECT! *hugs* You just made me feel so much better about my life.

    Thanks for posting this. I think change is something that we all struggle with, in some way. And I like how you're not afraid to skip the college route. It's not the route for everyone, so kudos and applause to you for recognizing that. ;)

    Good luck with your writing and figuring out future plans. Can't wait to hear more about your life as you figure things out. <3

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    1. *YES TAKE ALL THE PIZZA YOU DESERVE IT*

      Oh my gosh I love auto-correct. Caffeine, license, other words I'm sure I need help with but can't think of right now... spell-check is always there for me. :')

      Well, maybe my fear didn't come across in the post but believe me, there is always fear that comes along with decisions. ("is this the right one? what if I change my mind? ah?!?!!") But I feel fairly at peace right now, so I think I'm making the right one. Hopefully.

      Thank you so much. <3 <3 It's been fun having the blogger community and watch as everyone grows up. :')

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  2. Katie! I just arrived at the airport, sat down with a cup of coffee and opened your post. My flight is at 2pm. It's barely past 8am right now. That's how excitedly I welcome change xD My spring break started yesterday and I'm going to spend it in a new country! Then I go back to classes, not that big of a change, but big changes will come to me this summer, when I'll be done with university :D I applaud you for having decided to not go when you don't have a purpose for it, it's quite brave of you, I personally wouldn't have managed to tell that to my parents. Besides, I think that at the time I entered university I was not ready to fully become an adult yet. I still don't feel quite ready (hint: we're never fully ready) but at least I don't feel so lost now :3 So, the change that'll come with me graduating in the summer will be me moving to another country! Finding a part-time there. Learning the language. Writing. *has trouble breathing, is this anxiety or excitement?* But I'm so looking forward to that time! I don't think I'll miss university, I don't handle stress very well. I also don't want my job in the future to take over my whole life, unless that job is writing. When I was in highschool and people asked me what I wanted to be in the future, I would always reply "something that allows me to follow my dreams", because my dreams were never job-related except for being an author. I always told people that whatever job qualification I got from university would be my plan A, and writing my plan B, be here I am working hard to make writing my plan A no matter what xD we'll see how it goes :D I do want to have other jobs, I like new experiences, I just don't want something overwhelming and which I'm not passionate about. Working at a coffee shop is definitely an experience I want to have! That being said, congratulations on graduating and embrace the path you're taking, I'm sure it's the right one!

    Under a lucky star,
    Sara

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    1. Oh my goodness, Sara, that's insane! o.o I admire your sense of adventure and courage for venturing out in those new situations. And I totally understand what you're saying! I hope writing can work out for you and that you can make those dreams come true. I think it's really smart that you have a plan B in place, though. I admire that you went through with University even though it wasn't your favorite thing. *appluauds and hands over pizza*

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  3. I agree about the "comforting"-ness of school. That said, I enjoy classes- not lectures, necessarily, but generally getting to learn stuff. And I'm still in college, so I still have that.

    I applaud your decision to hold off on college until you know what you want to do. I think there's a lot of people who just go to college because it's the thing to do and they don't really know what they want to do with their lives. And some of them find out what they want at college, but other people just go and study something that's not their passion or their strength for the sake of having a piece of paper with their name in fancy letters on it. Anyway. I wish you all the best in your job-searching and your life-after-high-school adventures!

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    1. That's awesome that you enjoy your classes! I think that's cool. I can't exactly relate, but I admire those who can take interest in learning that stuff. :P

      Eek, I hope it's the right decision. *nervous sigh* But thank you for your kind words. I'm nervous about the upcoming journey but it'll definitely be an adventure! I'm excited for your future and how it develops as well. :D <3

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  4. Yay, Katie! Graduation! <3

    I'm proud of you for knowing that you're not going to college (yet, if ever...) Starbucks is a perfectly reasonable thing to keep doing, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise! There's too many people who just go to school with no clue what they're doing. I don't think that's a good idea at all.So great job having patience and trusting God! <3

    Faith//thefloridsword.blogspot.com

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    1. I HOPE I know that I'm not going. Obviously that can always change, but as of right now I feel fairly settled? Eek. Thank you for your kind words, Florid! <3

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  5. Congrats again! No more math classes! (A definite perk of no school.)

    Change. Oh, gosh. I’m just not a fan. (Like Daylight Savings time. Oh, my, It's Tomorrow. Hello, sleep-deprived me :) ) I’m not going through much change, except that I might be getting my license soon and that’s a really scary thought.

    God's got great things in store for you, I know it. Keep trusting in Him and writing! Good luck!

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    1. Yeah, I am feeling very sleep-deprived from Daylights Saving time today. :P And of course it had to happen on a Sunday when I go to Church...

      Thank you so much, Cosmia. And yeah, getting your license can be scary! But it's also a fun sense of freedom. :D

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  6. I didn't get to say it before, so CONGRATULATIONS!

    It was SO WEIRD when I finished school. Like, waking up in the morning and being like "What do I do now????" xD It's a relief, but like you said, it's also scary.

    I've been out of school for almost two years now (crazy o.o) and I still haven't started college... it's not that I don't want to, but I don't know what I want to go for, and I don't FEEL ready (I still barely feel like I should be old enough to be out of high school). I might try to start this fall? It scares me just saying that. xD

    I guess right now what's going on with me is more like the fear that things WON'T change. I know they will eventually. But I've been working at my McDonald's for a year now, without really knowing what I want to do with my life, and not thrilled about the idea of ever going through another interview/hiring process if I were to change jobs. Not that I have a bad job, it's just not where I want to be forever, and not being in college and not knowing what to go to college for doesn't help. I'm trying to be patient and just wait for God's plan for me to unfold, but it's hard. :P

    Also I LOVE YOUR ANALOGY. It's brilliant.

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    1. Eeep, thank you! *confetti*

      yeah I'm totally going through that feeling now! It's insane. o.o But also really freeing. I like the extra time. ^.^

      Eek, admitting it is always something scary because then it feels ~official~. But you got this. And I understand what you mean about the job. I need to find a second job pretty soon here and am not looking forward to the hiring process. -.-

      Ehehe, thank you. xD

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  7. Adulthood is definintely considered an adventure, which can be absolutely terrifying and exciting at the same time. That Bilbo analogy is much closer than you think it is. (Trust me, I've been an adult for about 5ish years, I can say that).

    Congratulations on graduating, Katie!

    I don't blame you for not choosing college. I've been there, and while I don't regret it in the least, it's not for everyone. Writing is more fun anyways :).

    Catherine
    catherinesrebellingmuse.blogspot.com

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    1. I'm glad that you, as someone who's been adult for a little while, can confirm the accuracy of the analogy. Thank you. xD

      Aww. Well thanks, Catherine. ^.^

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  8. Wow. That's so exciting that you're done with school. I'm close, but it still kind of feels like it's never going to end. XD I wish you all the luck in this next phase of life.

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    1. Believe me, the end will come up sooner than you think. And then you'll be relieved and stressed out at the same time. xD

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  9. Oh man, I think of this all the time. Right now I really am not a fan of school but what will I do when it's over? What will my life look like after my senior year? It's always so different from what we expect!

    >> as I reread that analogy it's a pretty awful one and isn't very similar to my situation, but I'll take any opportunity to call myself Bilbo Baggins and pretend to be a hobbit thank you very much. << *nods with all my heart*

    >> thank goodness for spell check because I cannot spell "caffeine" for the life of me << Thank God i'm not the only one, what would I do without spell check xD

    Congrats for finishing :) all the pizza to you *slides stack of steaming pizza boxes to you* And here's to all the adventures and good things in life :) <3

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    1. Eeek, seriously! I'm glad I'm not the only who feel this way. You're always so encouraging, Anna! <3

      YES. spell check is a life saver. My blog posts would have so many stupid mistakes if it wasn't for spell check. :P

      *mwahaha* *shares all the pizza*

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  10. Katie, congrats on graduating! I still have nine to ten weeks of school left and it’s very daunting to think that I have prom, senior fun day, crossover, exams, and just saying goodbye to my favorite people one last time as we all go to see Infinity awards together.

    EEEP STARBUCKS. Honestly, props to you for knowing what you’re wanting to do after high school. I don’t know what I want to do one hundred percent yet, but it’s infused in me that I have to go to college because not everyone got to go, and that mindset defintely comes from a different cultural background / expectation. But still, keep us updated on how life goes!!!

    xoxo Abigail Lennah | ups & downs

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    1. THANK YOUU! Ooh, still lots of things to happen, but you got this! I feel like time will fly by quicker than you realize. And it sounds like a bunch of fun stuff! (except for exams. and saying goodbye. :/)

      Heh, thank you. I don't feel very organized but we'll see. xD And aww, that's rough. I hope you can figure that out -- God's got this. <3

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  11. CONGRATULATIONS ON GRADUATING!!!! That is so exciting. :)

    I'm so pumped to see all of the awesome things you do, girl. You're going to rock this life thing. <3

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    1. AHH THANK YOU GRACE. And I hope I can rock it. That's the goal but we'll see. xD

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  12. So I'm not the only one who is comparing her life to Bilbo this year???
    I am going on an adventure too (top secret as of right now) and have literally been comparing every point to Th Hobbit.
    Congratulations!!!!
    astoryspinner.blogspot.com

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    1. YES! WE SHALL ALL BE A BUNCH OF WANDERING BILBOS THROUGH LIFE! :P (and ooh this top secret adventure sounds intriguing xD)

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  13. I'm so happy and excited for you, Katie!! <33

    You're so talented, I can't wait to see how you change the world. <333

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    1. Eeek, thank you! I'm so excited to know all of you fellow world-changers. You're all so inspiring. ^.^

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  14. YESSS this is exactly how I felt upon finishing school. I missed the routine and knowing exactly what had to be done! and I had somehow not been told the secret of how to Do the Adult Life. :|

    But with our good and loving God, our future should be an adventure! (After all, Bilbo felt quite uncomfortable at first, but ended up having a very exciting time and growing and making friends [and burying them, but never mind that bit??]. So let's all be Bilbo! ;D)

    Wherever your life adventure takes you, Katie, I hope you have a wonderful time! (and get your novels written ;)
    - Jem Jones

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    1. How long ago did you graduate school, Jem? And yeah... I'm waiting for the envelope of secrets to be sent to me. :P

      Exactly! I love how you put that. It's so true. Best of luck to you in this adventure. ;)

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    2. I'm actually going into my third year out of school (so old... ;P)

      ("The envelope of secrets" xD)

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  15. I SO RELATE TO THIS POST 100%!!! I was super excited to graduate because I hated school, but once I did it felt - weird. Like - what am I supposed to do with my life now? XD I was in a rut for a really long time, but then I got a job! And I started being more social! And I discovered that writing is what I want to do with my life! XD Its amazing to watch as your life unfolds and you start to realize you’re comfortable adulting, but it is kinda scary in the process cause it’s all so new. But you’ve got this, Katie! You’re gonna own this adulting thing!! *highfives*
    And congratulations on graduating!! It is a bittersweet moment, but mostly it’s great, right? ;D *chants* no more school! No more math! No more biology! XD

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    1. I feel the same way! I feel like I'll relate to your experience a lot. I' not looking forward to the busyness, but I do like being social and out and about, so. *shrug*

      Thank you so much. <3 AND YES! NO MATH! WAHOO! :P

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  16. Ahhh yes, the "What are you doing with your life?" question. I'm halfway through my first year of community college classes and I still don't know how to answer it *internal screaming*. I wish people didn't expect 17-20-year-olds to magically know what they're doing with their lives; most of us don't. And that's fine. Taking the time to try different things and really think out what you want to do is usually a way better idea than rushing into some career you'll end up hating, you know?
    Good luck with the next few years, haha!

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    1. I knooow, it's quite stressful. -.- How are you enjoying community college? Looking forward to continuing it, or kind of dreading it?

      Thank you so much, Erika. <3

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    2. To be honest I'm pretty apathetic towards it. I enjoy some classes, I hate others. It's just school, you know? Once I get a better idea of what I want to do and have some future plans/ambitions I expect I'll be better at answering that question, lol.

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  17. Happy to freak out with you anytime! As weird as it was to graduate high school last year--and as weird as everyone ELSE thought it was for me to not go to college--I've LOVED it. Being able to get up each morning and just write, not worrying about school, has been so so amazing. :)

    Hailey
    www.thehardworkingcreative.com

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    1. Aaww, I'm so glad that you've been enjoying it! That's encouraging to hear that you don't regret your decision. Thanks for commenting, Hailey!

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  18. Yay for graduating! :) I graduate in June, and...I'm don't think I'm planning to go to college either. At least not yet. I'm pretty content with my job at the library right now.

    I'm not even graduated and it already feels so weird, being so close to finishing school... O_O

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    1. Aaw, I love that you work at the library. That seems like a fun job. ^.^

      Yeah, I know what you mean. Hold onto these last moments. They'll slip away sooner than you realize. :P

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  19. CONGRATS, BRO!! I bet its so exciting to be done. I can't wait till when that day comes for me. :)

    GO AHEAD AND CALL YOUSELF BILBO! I love it. I call myself Bilbo all of the time. XD

    I don't plan on going to college either; I'm so glad to know that someone else doesn't as well!!

    Again, congratulations! :)

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    1. EEEP YAY WE SHALL BOTH BE BILBOS TOGETHER. xD

      Ooh, another person who isn't going to college? There are so few people that I know in real life who aren't going, but all of you fellow writers can easily relate. xD

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  20. AHhh this post was so encouraging honestly! I'm a year behind you, so it's really neat to see how you're heading into life after graduating :) Hopefully you can find another job you love. (Though Starbucks sounds like one of the best places to work at =))

    OH YES "what are you going to do with your life" is a question I've been asking myself lately, and it's such a hard question. like....AKFJAFKAJKMCAQNIDKK is literally my mental response. xD I have a general idea of what I want to do, but getting there is the hard part :) I just have to keep reminding myself God's in control and it'll all work out in the end. After all, life's about the journey, not the destination <3

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  21. Woo!

    I envy how you don't feel the need to enter college. Fortunately, uni isn't expensive in Ireland when you're not rich so the government gives grants. Thank God for Ireland. Also, it's St Patrick's Day? I don't really celebrate it though but ah well.

    Unfortunately, I do have to be in a sort of school place to concentrate and stuff because I've always been a public schooler. Yeah....

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  22. Oh Katie dear! All of my love to you! You are such a sweet girl, and I think that is very wise of you to not dash off to college just because it's whats done ("Just because it's whats done, doesn't mean it's what should be done." -Cinderella). I too opted out of going to college and am instead still living at home with my parents and younger siblings, working odd jobs here and there and just pursuing the things I really love and just taking life one day at a time. You don't have to have everything figured out when you enter adulthood, it's a growing experience. And your depiction of life's journey truly is accurate! You never know where you will be swept off to! As always, love your blog m'dear and keep up the good work. I'm rooting for you!

    Blessings -

    ~ Aspen

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  23. Eeeeppp congratulations! I'm finishing up my senior year too, and although I'm off to pursue the traditional college-job-family-death route, I definitely relate.

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