DEAR SENIOR YEAR,

In a few weeks, it will be fall. It's hard to believe -- as a barista I'm bracing myself for the pumpkin-spice craving rampages, and as a student I'm bracing myself for my final year of school. *distant, terrified screaming*

A while back I wrote "dear senior year" as an idea for a blog topic. I honestly can't remember what sort of route I wanted to take this, but it sounds like a letter to the upcoming school year, so I'm going to treat it as such. It might be more of a rambling, "here's what's currently on my mind" type of post, but we'll give it a try.

dear senior year,

I thought you'd never come.

I know -- I'm wrong to doubt -- but I remember being a little girl counting down the years on my fingers until I'd graduate school. First I had to use both hands, all ten fingers for ten years, but eventually I only needed one hand, and now I can count my remaining year on one finger.

No matter how many times I tell this to myself, it doesn't seem to sink in: I'm graduating in less than a year. I'm going to be an adult in less than a year.

Um. What. (???!)

Half of me is still convinced that I am a little child. I'm writing this post on my desk, and just yesterday I spontaneously danced in the rain. I don't like vegetables. Animated movies are my favorite. I don't play and make believe stories with my dolls anymore, but I do that with characters and isn't that basically the same thing?

But then the other half is me is so ready. I've never been one to enjoy school, and the thought of working instead actually excites me. Still -- it's scary and involves adulting and even more busyness.

I remember watching the seniors in our Church -- they stood around in circles and talked instead of playing games. They were so much older and mature and welcoming and kind. Now it's crazy to think that I'm in their position. Except I don't feel as mature as they looked. You bet I'm playing a gym game if there's a chance. :P

Life, from now until this time next year, is going to change an insane amount. Graduating! Turning 18! Full-time job! Possibly querying! Buying a car! Writing two books! Publishing fifty more blog posts! Hopefully making new friends! Strengthening old friendships! 

Lots and lots of new things. o.o

I'm realizing that, even though I really don't like school, there's something strangely comforting about it. It's what I've done for twelve years of my life -- there's ease in the known! There's no thinking about what comes next; I just do the next lesson in my workbook day after day after day after day...

But I'm learning that transitions like this will happen all throughout my life. I'm a writer, obviously (hopefully that's not hard to figure out). Lord willing, I'll eventually transition from this book writing stage to the publishing world. It'll be the scary unknown of graduating highschool all over again.

The unknown is daunting -- the uncertainty of "what's going to come next?" But do you know what's the good thing about all of this?

No one goes through the journey of life alone.

It may seem like it at times, I know, but even when people fail you, God is still there. Everyone is struggling with something in their life, and he's there for all of it. 

And that's one of the most comforting things (yes, even more comforting than a giant cheese pizza in your lap while curled up in a fuzzy blanket watching the best movie ever) in the world. 

I'm not sure what this post turned into... but enjoy or relate or take from it what you will. Sometimes blog posts turn into an overhaul of thoughts. xD

<3,

katie grace

what new experiences is fall bringing for you?