Very Serious Tips On How To Write Fast

Camp NaNo has begun! Whether your goal is 5,000 or 100,000, writing fast is very useful with helping to finish a story so you can edit write a new one.

I write very fast. It's just how I do things. 100,000 in a month or 60,000 in two weeks -- it's become my normal writing routine. Yes, I do get exhausted from all the endless typing, but... it's almost hard for me to write slow. Which can be a curse since that means alllll the gibberish. 

Do you want to write faster? Her are my very flawless tips on how to write like a superhuman.

It's very important to write where you can focus. That's why I do most of my writing at night. In a dark room. With no people or distraction.

Preferably I would lock myself away in a dungeon. Its' a rather great place to write a book. And most definitely no distraction.

Writing by a window IS great for creativity and inspiration... but when I'm trying to write fast, the neighbor mowing his lawn becomes the most interesting thing in the world. You probably won't see me during NaNo months. I'll be hiding inside away from the windows because THEY'RE EVIL.

-

Because who needs a plot when you can have lots of words? 

Write whatever comes to mind. Dragons in historical fiction? Five pages of your characters talking about pizza? Describing a sunset in the middle of a snowstorm? 

Do it. 

Piece together any random scenes you want. Words will come surprisingly fast once you start writing about nonsense.

-

Middles are hard and annoying. The plot often bogs down, and it's a huge hassle to write. So why not pass the cumbersome task onto someone else who's qualified?

Cats, dogs, ponies (??) -- have them take a turn at the keyboard and see what they can do. Their imagination might be surprisingly powerful. A few typing lessons and they're good to go.

Except, perhaps, for your goldfish. As entertaining as it would be to watch it's little form flop around the keyboard, maybe keep it in its tank. But just an idea. You do what works or you to get those "words" on the page.

-

Copy and paste will become your best friend during NaNo events. There's this site called Lorem Ipsum. And what does it do?

It generates random words. Er, random gibberish. Copy and paste 50,000 words worth, and wallah! You have a full novel. You can thank me later.

-

It's a known fact that unicorn horns are magical. I especially know from experience.

About a year ago, I had a dream. It was the night before Camp NaNoWriMo started. And in that dream, there was a shining, glowing unicorn. It came up to me and bent its head -- gesturing like it wanted to be petted.

I touched its horn. I woke up. My writing skills exploded -- my fingers couldn't stop writing fast for the rest of the month. 

The rest is history.

-

And, when all else fails, smash your head against the keyboard. Repeatedly. Over and over. 

Like so: hgbbnnhjgbvb nnm, nb nbvgbnn  m okikloikhyhbnb gtfrg uhyjjk hhjyj  brfttfft jnhmmk gvb  bnjkbfvghnjmj,kmjnhbgnhjm   hbhb jhnjbg.

(I'm not going to even comment on how ridiculous I looked doing that.)

But it works. And it's easy than writing a readable novel.

- - -

Are you starting to understand the process? Sit in an enclosed room, don't bother with the plot, have a pet nearby, use copy and paste, somehow acquire the power of a unicorn horn through a dream, and smash your head against the keyboard repeatedly.

And this is why I complain so much about editing.

// katie grace

Do you have any very serious tips to add to this list? Did it help you understand how I write 100k in a month? 

(unicorn horns and keyboard smashes. that's all there is to it.)