tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3445138433367622139.post8525417239159765986..comments2024-03-28T08:21:40.779-05:00Comments on A Writer's Faith: Flash Fiction Challenge - The Thief's BladeKatie Gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01867517507191129951noreply@blogger.comBlogger37125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3445138433367622139.post-50043052034533427062015-04-03T14:45:32.813-05:002015-04-03T14:45:32.813-05:00xD Yeah, you could do that.xD Yeah, you could do that.Carrie-Anne Thomashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02840611324784474990noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3445138433367622139.post-32790914033397636482015-04-03T11:54:30.086-05:002015-04-03T11:54:30.086-05:00Smells. I always seem to forget about adding those...Smells. I always seem to forget about adding those in. Thank you for reminding me about that, and the rest of the critique!<br />Though, I could also create a group of people in a fantasy world that <i>can't</i> smell, so it'd easily take care of that problem. xD Katie Gracehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01867517507191129951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3445138433367622139.post-616689262268301912015-04-03T11:53:08.182-05:002015-04-03T11:53:08.182-05:00Thank you so much for reading and commenting, Heat...Thank you so much for reading and commenting, Heather. :)Katie Gracehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01867517507191129951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3445138433367622139.post-19027890507426996562015-04-02T16:00:14.492-05:002015-04-02T16:00:14.492-05:00*thought like*thought likeCarrie-Anne Thomashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02840611324784474990noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3445138433367622139.post-397860453599084902015-04-02T15:59:50.030-05:002015-04-02T15:59:50.030-05:00Okay, here's my critique. :-)
This is very go...Okay, here's my critique. :-)<br /><br />This is very good! The amazing amount of character that you put into such a limited amount of words is stunning.<br /> One thing I thought was missing was smaller things that always seem to make the story more intense—this is more of a personal preference, but putting things about her head beating, or her breath coming quickly, as well as smaller sounds and smells would be able to make it more real, and more intense.<br /> I like how Mahati, when pretending to be a musician, and a girl searching for her mother, she wasn’t simply pretending—she actually stepped into the role and thoughtlike that.<br /> I’m having a hard time actually finding thing to correct in this—it is very good!<br /> I like that last line. It brings it to sort of conclusion, but with a cliff hanger.<br /> While reading this I found myself routing for Mahati, and I very much hope she gets out of this.<br /><br />That's about it. :-) Keep up the good work!Carrie-Anne Thomashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02840611324784474990noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3445138433367622139.post-64080380595878214192015-04-01T12:50:16.808-05:002015-04-01T12:50:16.808-05:00Sorry I didn't read this right away. I do love...Sorry I didn't read this right away. I do love the idea, though—I really felt concerned for Mahati, and I want to know more. What's the deal with the prince? Is she going to be okay? Either way, this is a great snapshot for us to enjoy. :)Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16797485444727976121noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3445138433367622139.post-26036802591940310532015-03-30T10:02:12.559-05:002015-03-30T10:02:12.559-05:00Thank you, Autumn. :)Thank you, Autumn. :)Katie Gracehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01867517507191129951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3445138433367622139.post-3873379903014557542015-03-30T10:01:42.208-05:002015-03-30T10:01:42.208-05:00Aw, thank you so much, Sierra! Your kind words mea...Aw, thank you so much, Sierra! Your kind words mean a lot to me. <br />Thanks for the awesome prompt, too. :)Katie Gracehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01867517507191129951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3445138433367622139.post-56990987005343355432015-03-29T20:07:54.525-05:002015-03-29T20:07:54.525-05:00Thanks, Katie Grace! I hope that I'll get the...Thanks, Katie Grace! I hope that I'll get the chance to! :-DAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08745444401384420773noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3445138433367622139.post-69153772863634202902015-03-29T09:15:02.398-05:002015-03-29T09:15:02.398-05:00That was really good, Katie :)That was really good, Katie :)autumnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10338919380899247929noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3445138433367622139.post-61851509351924889522015-03-28T15:25:02.453-05:002015-03-28T15:25:02.453-05:00Ooh, what an amazing story!! I have all these ques...Ooh, what an amazing story!! I have all these questions now- in a good way! :o) I would totally read more of this if you continued it :D (Also Mahati is such a cool name :) I love the ending, where it says:<br />"In her mind, Mahati was nothing but a musician, her song enjoyed by everyone. She was a girl, searching and yearning for a mother’s love. She was Mahati, serving for a greater cause.<br />But in other’s eyes, she was only a thief."<br />I was leaning closer towards the computer screen the whole time I was reading this, thinking "Is she going to make it? Are the soldiers going to catch her?"<br />Great job!sparrowbeanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07544700025685307090noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3445138433367622139.post-24137206625376705592015-03-28T14:29:57.243-05:002015-03-28T14:29:57.243-05:00Heh. xD
Melati is a nice name, too. I like it. :)...Heh. xD <br />Melati is a nice name, too. I like it. :)Katie Gracehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01867517507191129951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3445138433367622139.post-25844557635109651902015-03-28T14:28:56.708-05:002015-03-28T14:28:56.708-05:00Thank you, Sofia! :)Thank you, Sofia! :)Katie Gracehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01867517507191129951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3445138433367622139.post-33538055031102210442015-03-28T09:52:28.997-05:002015-03-28T09:52:28.997-05:00Pretty good story! Action-packed and Mahati sounds...Pretty good story! Action-packed and Mahati sounds like such an interesting character. :)Thanks for letting us read your prompt. <br /><br />http://teensliveforjesus.blogspot.ruSofia Mariehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03703884443937255154noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3445138433367622139.post-74117979004090328702015-03-28T08:05:13.624-05:002015-03-28T08:05:13.624-05:00*smacks forehead* Yeah. That. :-P I knew what it w...*smacks forehead* Yeah. That. :-P I knew what it was... I think I used to have a character named Melati, so I automatically typed that. :-P Mahati. *nods* She has a nice name.Carrie-Anne Thomashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02840611324784474990noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3445138433367622139.post-28554376042659544532015-03-27T21:27:07.750-05:002015-03-27T21:27:07.750-05:00Actually, it's "Mahati." xD Close en...Actually, it's "Mahati." xD Close enough, though. <br />Thank you! I'll look forward to reading the critique. I'm planning to get around to it tomorrow. :)Katie Gracehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01867517507191129951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3445138433367622139.post-13616306101008164062015-03-27T20:53:45.837-05:002015-03-27T20:53:45.837-05:00Thank you, Natasha!
Weeell, I haven't written ...Thank you, Natasha!<br />Weeell, I haven't written the rest of the story, but if I ever happen to write it, I'll make sure that you get to read it someday. xDKatie Gracehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01867517507191129951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3445138433367622139.post-4595168955800375552015-03-27T20:52:50.995-05:002015-03-27T20:52:50.995-05:00Thank you sooo much, Bailey!
And I'm glad you...Thank you sooo much, Bailey! <br />And I'm glad you liked the ending. I was struggling on how to tie it all together, and it's good to know that it turned out. :)Katie Gracehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01867517507191129951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3445138433367622139.post-14764931220886477462015-03-27T20:47:18.694-05:002015-03-27T20:47:18.694-05:00Oh, I agree with everyone on this! It was so well...Oh, I agree with everyone on this! It was so well done, Katie! I especially loved how well you developed Malati's character in those few lines. And oh, may I /pleeaassse/ read the rest of this story??? Please?Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08745444401384420773noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3445138433367622139.post-35016644401981410402015-03-27T20:44:41.435-05:002015-03-27T20:44:41.435-05:00Oooh, yay! I might just have to try these links! ...Oooh, yay! I might just have to try these links! I have a hard time coming up with names. I can do it, but they frequently end up sounding the same. :-/ Thank you!!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08745444401384420773noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3445138433367622139.post-2746101909869310592015-03-27T20:11:01.647-05:002015-03-27T20:11:01.647-05:00This is fantastic!
I really like how you were abl...This is fantastic! <br />I really like how you were able to create a clear story without it being very long. Mahati is a very neat character, too. I also like the last few lines- it was a perfect way to conclude the story. Although now I am dying to know what happens next! :)<br />Great story, Katie!Bailey Ericksonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04127279703518414055noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3445138433367622139.post-9494303121161323222015-03-27T16:05:12.478-05:002015-03-27T16:05:12.478-05:00Ooh, thanks for linking to these sites, Faith! :)Ooh, thanks for linking to these sites, Faith! :)Katie Gracehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01867517507191129951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3445138433367622139.post-27076213078922013292015-03-27T16:03:14.565-05:002015-03-27T16:03:14.565-05:00Thank you, Ana! I'm happy with how it turned o...Thank you, Ana! I'm happy with how it turned out. :)Katie Gracehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01867517507191129951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3445138433367622139.post-3777981668078367612015-03-27T15:57:24.184-05:002015-03-27T15:57:24.184-05:00Whoops. Malati. *facepalms* I spelled it wrong.Whoops. Malati. *facepalms* I spelled it wrong.Carrie-Anne Thomashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02840611324784474990noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3445138433367622139.post-83094591391337727992015-03-27T15:56:43.761-05:002015-03-27T15:56:43.761-05:00This is very good, Katie! I love Melati's char...This is very good, Katie! I love Melati's character, and that you clearly showed her capability and also that she was frightened. I would love to see more of this story. :-)<br /> (I'll come back and do a more detailed critique later.)Carrie-Anne Thomashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02840611324784474990noreply@blogger.com